Monday, April 25, 2005
milestones
going to your funeral tomoro dude.its the wierdest feeling ever-like two weeks ago i was talking to ya, and now im going to be carrying your coffin as you get buried?i went to your crash site, i was so mad, what happend man? its doesnt make any sense that you should be on that side of the road-its done my head in 24-7 since i saw the fotos of your car! it just makes me feel dull inside.since sunday i havnt listend to a song atal with out relating it to you? or played footy with out remebring you? or had a laugh without wanting you to be there?or being convinced that your in heaven everytime i hear someone singing your praises?
iv even been listen to some opera stuff man? just makes me chill owt and relly think about you and how proud i was when you came to scarbrough with me for those first few days, even just making you go in the summer was a good laugh! at joshuas it took me ages to tell you everything about how good scarbrough was?! and how excited we used to get thinking about all those young lasses!
im gettin a really bad buring throat in my feeling?whats happend to you has made me seen my family in a whole diffrent light?now i cant argue with them! every second im just staring at my little bro and sis thanking god i have them!
got my footy short done like AJ, i went owt in whitby man and i was just getin complete strangers just coming up 2 me and saying i really like your shirt man pattin my back.it kills me when i remebr why your names have to be on there
hope your looking after ben up there, and im sure my nana will have said hi, shes been up there a while man so be nice to her!you should be reallly proud pf your family shacks, they have been unbelivable in the wake of ur accident,your mam is so strong,she made me feel soo emotionaly weak.i kno you were well proud of your family anyways man, but theyv seriously come through when theyv been testd the most.
just wish youd come home shacks,my heart bleeds for you every morning man.throats buring again.im gonna try not to post on here anymore dude,iv got a tree to put in my back garden and theyv named a trophy after you and ben between the Whitby college- and the Scarbrough one 'shackelton-landers trophy' apperently. least you deserve bro
